But it says king of the world on my t-shirt.

I've heard many people say, "Normal is overrated." I loathe when that phrase falls out of peoples faces. Don't even get me started on t-shirts with slogans like 'Normal people worry me.' Do they? Do they really? What is it about these so called 'normal' people that makes you worry so. Could it be that maybe you think that, is some way, you may fit into this horrendous category and therefore need to buy a t-shirt in order to proudly proclaim, to yourself, and everyone in the mall that day, that you're the physical manifestation of the road less traveled. Because as we all know, t-shirts are truth indelibly printed on cloth. Clear evidence of this are those classy T's proclaiming things like 'Tell your Mom I said thanks!.' As much as you don't want to believe it, this man had sex with your Mother, it says so on his t-shirt.
Returning to my original thesis; stating the phrase 'normal is overrated' will bring bloody, unrivaled, apocalyptic fury to this sphere with no mercy. Its turned into one of those horrifying things people say when they want to label stupidity, or ignorant bliss under the convenient umbrella of 'weird'. Being normal is no longer overrated because every damn person says that it is, and therefore, it becomes a normal thing to say, which causes a dichotomy and makes the two switch places and inevitably, creates a rift in the space time continuum, people start to walk on their hands, fish walk out of the ocean on their fins juggling pieces of coral and singing 'head like a hole' in reverse, hermit crabs become extremely friendly and grow to the size of dogs and eventually, replace them. People start to speak only in palindromes and anagrams and it takes weeks to have a simple conversation, George W Bush wins the Nobel Prize, Texas becomes a haven for gay liberals, Medical Doctor falls to the third most respected profession behind Sanitation worker and Coffee Barista and it is all...your...fault.

And now... The bi-weekly, sometimes weekly, ocasionaly semi-annual, rarely tri-daily new feature: Eddie P Speaks on Comics

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Binary Code Translation- Vol. Peanut Butter Funk

The Surrogates

Brian Venditti

Brett Weldele

Top Shelf Productions

The Surrogates is an interesting one-take about a possible future where people have their everyday activities handled by android replicas of themselves while controlling each decision online. These replicas are called ‘surrogates’ and they are modeled after whatever the user wishes, most times the younger version of the user in their prime. People have grown accustomed to this way of living, many never leave their homes. The story unfolds with a ‘murder’ of two surrogates and the investigation that takes place by a cop named Agent Greer. The users, themselves, are unaffected by these “murders” and only their surrogate bodies are destroyed. The murders continue and Greer finds himself closer to uncovering plots by those who wish to live in the more traditional way, without surrogates. Venditti’s take on 2054 is interesting in that many things aren’t extremely different than the world we live today. I find the best sci-fi realizations of the future are grounded in this reality and not with an abundance of unbelievable gadgets and space ships. The idea of a surrogate is not so farfetched, especially in the age where internet message boards are loaded with people spewing their opinions while hiding behind their avatars. These surrogates are a form of virtual reality and interactions can be described as live versions of chat room role playing. One of the memorable things I took from Venditti’s novel was the artwork of Brett Weldele. His panes are simple, filled with smears of water color blanketed by characters of ink. The tone of the book is dreary and washed out; the lack of color is more effective to the story than panels rich with bright hues. Upon one look at the artwork and one can see that this is not the typical graphic novel. I suggest this novel for the noir detective story but also for the unconventional art work that perfectly matches the tone Venditti and Weldele obviously were trying to achieve. A movie is planned for 2009 and it stars Bruce Willis as Greer. That alone should give you a reason to catch up on this story. A sequel to this is planned for 2009 as well entitled Surrogates 2.0 Flesh and Bone.

E.P.

Nice just isn't enough anymore.

I don't know if it can be pinpointed to an exact moment when the earth shifted or the angle in which we spin on our wonderfully solid axis was altered by .000000000001%. I would surely bet against the notion that this is the way it had been since my days of single digit tomfoolery. I would say it can most likely be attributed to progression in age, intelligence or the inevitable burning off of my patience. Whatever it is that transpired, whatever paradigm shifting occurred to make me perpetually unimpressed with people, it has happened. Nice just isn't enough anymore. Its doesn't just land short, its not anywhere near flirting with the realm of acceptable company. When asked about people recently I find my response to be a resounding 'eh' or synonyms thereof such as 'cool' or 'nice' But when asked if I really like this person, I find it hard to give an accurate answer. Do you like her/him? What does it mean to like someone exactly? Does it mean that I must thoroughly enjoy their company? Can it mean that it doesn't extremely irritate me to be in their presence? I find myself nearly always answering the question of whether or not I like someone with a yes, but most of the time, the positive response can be directly correlated to the fact that I don't particularly 'like' the person whose has proposed the question to me, and therefore would not like the conversation to continue anywhere past my answer. Bottom line is I will take an interesting person over someone who is overtly nice, I will take someone who is possibly a little mentally loose, a blender without a lid if you will, than someone who swims in the community pool of generic conversations. I remember the moment when I realized that nice just wasn't enough for me anymore. I was sitting with my pigmentally challenged friend Brian, at his kitchen table with its lovely flowered table cloth and matching metal yet woodgrain napkin holder when he posed the aforementioned question asking me if I liked a particular person. Since I enjoyed the film Powder, I tend to enjoy the conversations Brian and I have, and so I answered 'no, not really.' To which he replied, "really, why not? He's a nice guy." That right there was the moment, the light bulb over my head, the realization that, as I stated back to the tall drink of skim milk, "nice isn't enough anymore." Instead of going the usual route and starting an argument, he sat back, pondering what I said and shortly after, agreed. For the next 30 minutes or so we began to pick apart, pretty much everyone we know or have came across for various reasons but mainly because they weren't clever enough to be having the same spiteful conversation. This was the moment I realized I was not alone in my new view. 'Others share in my glorious disdain!' I exclaimed, with the vigor of a man who reached the summit of Everest but needed to eat his friend to make it there.
Terms like blank page and vanilla dance a solo tango in my head when the thoughts of these amiable, obliging, peachy people are already doing a meandering Caucasian sway. Soon after, they meet hands and dance the most mundane of Tangos, so gregarious, yet so undeniably unimpressive.

Slumdog Millionaire

For the record, I am a Danny Boyle (the Director) fan, I thoroughly enjoyed Trainspotting, 28 Days Later, Sunshine and thought The Beach was interesting enough. If I had one critique of Boyle' s filmmaking; it would be that, on occasion he relies too heavily on style, placing the epicenter of the film on visual progression and confusion instead of the bare bones story or characters. Well ladies and gentleman; I am very proud to report that Boyle did none of that in this film. All of the things that he has done impeccably well in the past were there and glowing and the surrounding film was nearly flawless. This is, in my far from humble opinion, without a doubt; Danny Boyle's best film, if not the best film of the year.
The story begins with Jamal Malik, an 18 year old orphan brought up in the slums of Mumbai, on India's version of the gameshow Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Jamal is one question away from the previously foreseen insurmountable goal of winning 20 million rupees. The show breaks, with plans to continue Jamal's quest the following day; however, as he is ushered out he is taken into police custody and charged with cheating under the pretense that there is no conceivable way an orphan from the slums could get all the way to 20 million. What follows is a journey though Jamal Malik's life as he explains how he came to the answers to the questions. The film is perfectly executed, flawlessly paced, very well acted, timelessly structured and stylized, and beautifully shot. I don't know what else you could want from a film. At its center its a love story, on the surrounding layers its a tale of survival, friendship, family,heartbreak and overall, hope. It is a rare occurrence that I give a film this much praise and hype but this one absolutely deserves it.

And now... The bi-weekly, sometimes weekly, ocasionaly semi-annual, rarely tri-daily new feature: Eddie P Speaks on Comics

Eddie P speaks on Comics
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Binary code translation vol. Face Smash

Ex Machina

Brian K. Vaughan

This is an interesting take on the superhero concept written by acclaimed author Brian K. Vaughan. (Y: The Last Man, Runaways, Lost Seasons 3-4) The story is about a man who gets superpowers from an accident with a shard of alien machinery that allows him to “speak” to machines. This is an interesting ability that has been touched before with characters in X-Men and even on TV’s Heroes, but Vaughan has mastered the depth of what is really possible with such a power. Actually the story isn’t about the man and his powers, but rather what the man does after he’s given up adventuring and hung up the cape. Mitchell Hundred used hide his identity behind a mystical helmet and wear a winged jet pack he created while asleep. He called himself The Great Machine and would fly around New York City attempting to protect it’s helpless citizens below. This often led to many blunders and failed attempts of heroism. This is, in my opinion, an awesome take on the superhero tale. Many stories flourish in their character’s ability to “save the day”, you hardly read about the guy who fucks up. These moments as The Great Machine are shown in a series of flashbacks. In present time, Mitchell is the Mayor of New York City. Mitchell is neither democrat nor republican. His views span all across left and right boundaries and many of the characters within his office debate both sides of serious issues. A major concept that Vaughan illustrates is the tendency of citizens to rely on their government to save them. Much like how the citizen’s of Gotham or Metropolis rely on their costumed guardians, New York’s citizens look to their Mayor to save the day. This is eerily similar to how US citizens look towards President Elect Obama in this current crisis to save the day. In essence Ex Machina is primarily about Politics, Superheroes and New York City. This is a brainy, wordy story with enough action to keep it fun. I recommend it to people who are politically open-minded and are looking for a superhero story that is less about the cape and cowl heroics and more about the human ones.

E.P.

Ok, here are some short reviews of the last few things I've read, all of which I enjoyed.

The Yiddish Policeman's Union
By Michael Chabon
One of the most enjoyable books I've ever read. Chabon is a master, the man in unrelentingly clever. The protagonist, Meyer Landsman should be remembered with noir P.I. greats like Marlow and Spade. The novel is set in Sitka Alaska, 60 years after Jewish refugees, displaced due to the Holocaust and the fictional destruction of Isreal were sent to live. It is an alternate history detective story in the realm of some classic noir but completely takes its own path. Absolutely loved everything in it from beginning to end.

Anna Karenina
By Leo Tolstoy
This one took me a while. Tolstoy's talent is undeniable when creating huge, sprawling, epic stories involving many main characters, each of which are very layered. The novel is very meticulously crafted from beginning to end and had moments of literary perfection. The way in which he develops characters is something to admire, but I must say a negative to being so thorough are the 100page chunks in which nothing of any real substance transpires. Very glad I read it but its light years away from light or exciting reading.

Me Talk Pretty One Day
By David Sedaris
Definitely one of the funniest books I've ever read. Never before have I had to put a book down numerous times because I was laughing too hard to continue reading. If you havent read David Sedaris or heard any of his essays on NPR or anywhere else, you're missing out

Wanted
By Mark Millar
A twisted, sick assault on conformity. Raw, visceral and nothing like the terribly watered down film of the same name. How that is even called an adaptation is beyond me.

Sandman vol-1 Preludes & Nocturnes vol-2 Doll's House
By Neil Gaiman
Neil Gaiman's classic series of which I have slept on for a very long time. Granted I am only 2/11ths of the way into this story but I am impressed with what I've read thus far. A very cerebral tale, wildly visual, extremely creative and undeniably trippy.

The Killing Joke
By Alan Moore
Alan Moore is a genius weekly? I will subscribe to that publication. A great little story that delves deeper into the relationship between Batman and The Joker.

The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat
By Oliver Sacks
If you like clinical stories of neurological and neuropsychiatric disorders like visual agnosia, Korsakoff's syndrome, Autistic savantism and many more, this is the book for you! I love this guys work, my sister and brother in law bought me another one of his books, Musicophilia and since then I've been hooked. So, a hearty bowl of gracias to them.
Up next, An Anthropologist on Mars

Question freaks.

You know those people, those dolts, those incessantly annoying beings who possess the innate need to ask pointless question, after question, after question in any public forum. It is easy to spot a question freak, they're always on the edge of their seats acting like listening is a physical act. However, it is readily apparent that acting like you're listening 'hard' roughly translates to... I didn't hear a word you just said. These specimens usually will interact, in a way resembling this:

Professor- The paper will be due on Friday, it should be between 5-7 pages in length, double spaced. If you have any questions, email me.
Q.Freak- Professor, would it be ok if we triple space it?
Professor- I would prefer it double spaced.
Q.Freak- I need to take my cat to the vet tonight, I wont be able to email you tonight, can I do it Tomorrow?
Professor- ...yes, its Tuesday; email me tomorrow.
Q.Freak- So we need to hand this paper into you on Friday?
Professor- Yes.
Q.Freak- This friday?
Professor- Yes.
Q.Freak- ok.
Professor- moving on, the answer... 1+1 is...2.
Q.Freak- wait so the answer is 2? How did you get that? its 1 + 1?
Professor- Yes, 1+1= 2
Q.freak- You added them? together?
Professor- YES

Meanwhile...back in my head, there is a dwarf, he is an extreme steroid abuser and he is livid, jumping up and down screaming at the top of his lungs
'SHUT UP, SHUT UP! Holy god, is there a 1 legged hamster on a wheel in your head? Has your cerebral cortex been soaked in battery acid and hit repeatedly with a wrench? Are you actually unable to deduce anything resembling a rational answer in your head to this horrific question, only equaled in its incoherence by its fitful, inept, idiocy. When you are about to ask a question...is there no security block, no alarm that sounds
'BEEP! BEEP!WOAH, hold up, maybe this is not that smartest thing that can fall out of my face at this moment, maybe he/she just answered this, maybe I should wait until he/she is done speaking before I blurt out this nonsense, like a blender operating without a lid.'

I know my better half Lindsay has had horrifying experiences with question freaks, she has expressed them to me in ways vastly less verbose but still as volatile.
If you have had experiences with QF's leave me some words.