When life gives you unadulterated idiocy...drink poisonous lemonade.

Holy scoliosis Margaret Thatcher!

Its been a brief and tumultuous millennia since I have forged a post from the steel and circuit sparks that fight a never-ending war over spacial significance inside my cerebral cortex.

Despite the aforementioned lapse, I could hold off no longer.  There was another instance at work which caused me to laugh and mock incessantly in my head, while still maintaining a reserved, intact and calm exterior, which was undeniably difficult. 

Person #1-"Its when...when god makes you lemons...wait, when god makes you lemons...

Person #2- "I think its when god gives you oranges...

Person #1- "Its oranges?

Person #2- "I think its when god gives you oranges make orange juice."

100% correct

Upon witnessing this conversation...

Orange you glad I didn't hit myself with a wrench?

About an hour after this event, I passed by someone as this holy ghost of unintelligible horror fell our of their face:

"Hello is for horses."

HELLO 

IS 

FOR 

HORSES??

wow.

As per my knowledge, I do know that horses are generally a rather cordial bunch but last I heard, they don't greet you with speech, thereby rending this statement so dim and doltish that it ranks among my top 20 most horrific sentences to ever leak from betwixt ones lips.

So I am at work yesterday, and a co-worker hits me with this gem.
She exclaims to me with a certain empty headed zest, "you look like an actor."
I reply " a specific one? Or do I somehow embody the profession?"
To which she states "Brenden Fraser...or a young Nicholas Cage."
I am struck frozen... for 3 reasons;

1) I look nothing like Brendan Fraser
2) I look nothing like a young Nicholas Cage
3) They look nothing like one another.

So, thanks for this lovely exchange,
Sincerely,
Brendan Cage